Bad Manners / Good Karma

When I lived at the ashram as a student of yoga, we were introduced to the practice of Karma Yoga. The idea is to do work for no reward.  Work becomes worship, or devotion.  Fruits of our labors go out the window, as we free ourselves from attachment to the results. One must let the ego go, releasing feelings of superiority and resentment.  During afternoons, we were organized to do certain chores for maintaining the order and cleanliness of the grounds, such as picking up pieces of trash and scrubbing the floor of the meditation hall.  At the end there was no reward, no pay, and no free cookie.  It wasn’t a big deal; we weren’t performing work for praise, pay, or our own benefit.  Everyone worked for the good of all.  When I was in the Navy, I was often assigned to similar tasks:  weeding the cracks in the sidewalks, picking up trash, painting things that seemingly didn’t need another coat of paint.  I can’t say my work in the Navy was anything close to being considered karmic, as it was part of the job.  At the ashram, I got a nice little taste of the idea of Karmic actions. 

Sharing living spaces with others makes me miss my last apartment mate, and also brings me back to those lessons and ideas of Karma Yoga.  It’s not easy when flat mates don’t have similar standards of cleanliness or respect for the shared space. Some individuals use the space with no second thoughts, and no effort to clean up after themselves.  On the opposite end of the spectrum, one individual doesn’t think twice about getting up to her elbows in grime to clean our area.  Today, she scrubbed the washing machine components with a toothbrush.  I don’t know what goes through her head, but she seems quite content to do these tasks for the good of all.

I can only strive to be that cool as I’m doing my part.  I definitely feel like I do far more than my share.  I don’t expect a pat on the back, or even ‘thanks’.  In a way, I know my actions could potentially be a form of Karma Yoga.  I’m just not there yet.  If I complete this work with thoughts of increasing my good karma, it defeats the purpose of Karma Yoga’s goal:  doing work as worship, without being attached to its fruits.  I try to keep it clean with a smile, but perhaps just need to let go of the anger and resentment that occasionally accompanies me on the frequent walks to the trash receptacles.  

Sweet dreams

In a dream, I was heading out with an old favorite college buddy from the 90’s, the adventurous, redheaded Becca.  We were going for a bike ride on a sunny, spring day.  She’s pregnant, but doesn’t hesitate to go out to the stairwell, lift her bike in through the hallway, and lug it down the stairs.  Outside waiting for her, I encounter a few strangers, presumably friends of hers.  They’re eating cactus.  Not the fruits or flowers, but the flesh.  I’m handed a huge, oblong piece, sliced open and ready to eat.  The outside of the plant appears to be the standard, light green cactus.  The innards are a lovely purple, light and almost pink, but still purple.  Not sure what you’d call the color, but it was gorgeous.  As I pulled the juicy flesh to taste it, the texture was stringy like a mango, juice filled like a grapefruit, and light like cotton candy.  Beyond being not too sweet, the taste was indescribable. 

Needless to say, I’ve been craving cactus for two days.  Luckily, I’m living in a place where there happens to be a special cactus, Baeknyuncho or "palm cactus", native to this island.  I’d tasted the chocolate they make with it.  Great flavor, but the chocolate isn’t anything to write home about.  Today, I bought the cactus tea.  70% cactus fruit, 10% honey, and I think the rest is water.  The sticky consistency of this pink-purple gel is like plasma.  The taste is perfect, on its own and with hot water, as tea.  I guess it’s just what I needed.  This weekend, ansha allah, my best girl & I will go west to check out this special, native, cacti... growing along a lovely trail for a Sunday.  

Part III: Peace

SPEAKING OF HEALTH… Though I might not have the biggest circle of friends here, my social life still feels healthy.  I suppose a large number of friends is not what’s been needed.  Rather, over the past 6 months, I’ve spent many moments and days solo.  Out walking, exploring, reading, drawing, watching videos, and striving to learn more.  My time here’s been an attempt to fall more completely into knowing and loving the self, and accepting what is… 

So I’ve accepted with gratefulness that I’m 32 years old and haven’t chosen to settle down in any one place.  With gracefulness I’ve also realized that I’m not yet building up a retirement plan (or, what do you call them, 401-K?).  To think of the future is realistic and mature.  To settle into a mediocre life routine that works merely for the future, with the great hope of enjoying and embracing life’s fun when the kids are grown and we’re retired… In my opinion, that’s just taking too much for granted.  Not to judge anyone who’s comfortably settled.  Hats off to all who follow their hearts!  Having a house is probably a very comforting feeling.  I appreciate going back for holidays and summers to find a house full of loving family, great food, and incredible, rejuvenating warmth. When I’m in a regular place, it feels nice. 

Here I am, attempting to maintain enough money for the unforeseen emergency, period of joblessness, or desire to travel.  I’m already on the cusp of another transitional period, between jobs and places.  A few years ago, this may have caused in me anxiety and worry.  Now, it’s a blessing, because it’s my life.   As I stride into the unknown, there are infinite doors before me.  I may not be the epitome of stability, but I do work hard to maintain the inner space.  Our inner spaces can be filled with so many things, depending on what we allow for.  If we cultivate love and happiness, the space becomes a bright, shining light, giving us flexibility, compassion, and understanding.  If we ignore that inner space, it’s quickly filled with darkness and muck, veiling our senses, holding us back. 

This present situation has ended up being a time of tremendous, heart-opening growth.  Thanks to a life-changing University course titled Spiritual Development (in which I enrolled twice, because the instructor, program, and class were that good), I’ve learned and cultivated various spiritual practices and ways that have shown me how to more fully embrace life and experiences.  I’ve also been blessed with some incredible Spiritual Teachers over the past ten years. 

When we open our hearts and welcome, we’re able to receive signs.  These signs lead us down our own natural paths.  Be they people, emotions, or experiences, these signs from which we can learn… are always there.  We need only open our minds and hearts to them.  In turn, one begins to notice the effect of this open heart on others.  The world seems friendly, everything and everyone becomes more beautiful, and everything in life flows, as it’s naturally inclined to. 

What’s the point of any spiritual practice, and to where will these so-called paths lead us?  Beyond acceptance of all that is present, beyond realization of life’s impermanent beauty… May we move toward PEACE.  

Part II: Practice

SPEAKING OF PRACTICE, there’s more to life than work, eat, drink, be merry, and sleep.  According to the World Health Organization’s 1948 definition, health is:  a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.  Ask yourself, on a scale from 1-10, how you measure up overall.  How do you truly feel about your health?  According to a favorite university professor, most people tend to place themselves somewhere near the middle.  I feel 8.2.  After you mark your number, ask yourself what you’re doing to improve on it.  Shouldn’t we all be trying to move forward?  We’re not getting younger.  This is life, it’s not a dress rehearsal or preparation for the future.  We should be enjoying it to the utmost, feeling our best.  We need money for survival, but what is more important… having a shitload of money… or feeling like a million bucks?  What do we practice to maintain what we perceive as being ourselves, our sanity, our senses of well-being?  Self-medication and psycho-therapy sessions?  Television, sports, eating sweets, eating fresh foods, crosswords, reading, and the arts?  Worship, meditation, and taking time out for breathing and awareness?  Meeting with a book club, a Mom’s group, or happy hour buddies?  So many things, so many ways.  How positive or beneficial are our practices?   What do we spend our moments, days, months, years, and lives doing? Living.  Now.  No judgments here, nor expectations, and no excuses.  Explore and contemplate.  Think about your practices… and in which directions they’re leading you.  

Yoga, Practice, and Peace

Part I of III:  YOGA

I’VE RECENTLY DISCOVERED the joys of yoga podcasts.  What an awesome invention!  It’s like having my own personal instructor right here.  Don’t get me wrong; nothing beats a live yoga class.  The podcast guy can’t straighten me out, nudge me, suggest a modification, or take me to the next level of a particular asana.  My options for live classes here are limited.  I reminisce to the time I lived in Augusta, just two blocks away from the yoga studio.  I would pay the monthly fee for unlimited classes, and attend religiously… probably 6-8 times a week when the early morning sessions were up and running.  The experience of those classes propelled me forward in many aspects of my life:  enhancing my body awareness, mind awareness, comfort in silence, outlook on life, relationship to others & the world, and benefitting me in so many ways, I could likely write a book about it.  After returning to Augusta in 2008,  (with ashram yoga training & several random classes spread out over 2 &1/2 years) I eventually found another great regular class.  Not as conveniently located, but cheaper, deeper, and well worth the drive.  Those sessions lifted me to higher realms, carrying me beyond places and spaces I once thought to be out of reach.  The instructor was female, and it was lovely to have some strong feminine energy gently guiding, yet pushing and challenging me.  Now, living in Korea, I’ve found yet another yoga class.  Though it’s in Korean, I can easily follow.  Attending classes is so beneficial to one’s practice.  There’s a beautiful flow of energy in a room where people are sharing a practice.  Individuals may have their own goals, but we’re all essentially, and literally, moving in the same directions.  All side effects aside (though all the side effects I can come up with happen to be positive), we’re moving toward that UNION of mind and body, self and God.  We’re joining Atman (one’s soul or Spiritual Self) and Paratman (God, the divine, the Energy of the Universe).  For anyone curious, practicing, or well seasoned, I highly recommend finding a local class to attend if possible.  If classes are out of reach, podcasts may be the next best thing.  To the attendance of classes and my own personal practice, the addition of podcasts has me flying higher… on that Blissful Cloud #9.    


http://www.yogajournal.com/podcast/
http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/yoga-to-people-60-min-power/id171909056

It's coming soon...

THIS MORNING, as I emerged from the folded blankets that serve as my bed, I wasn’t cold. Sunbeams through the windows, and I opened the glass. The air wasn’t freezing. That dark, nasty, beautiful cloud that is winter… is going away. We had our times, and they were good: layering and bundling up for walks on those bitter, wind chilled mornings; day after day of overcast skies accompanied by warming coffee and sitting and drawing and reading. Snow flurries and hot chocolate, those were good times. All day, something familiar has been creeping in. My hands didn’t go numb as I hung the laundry out to dry. As the afternoon rolled on, I found myself waking up to absolute paradise. Others found the birds annoying, I found them delightful. There we were, outside for hours, walking to and fro, around and across the open fields bordered by trees and bland buildings of glass and concrete. There we were: throwing… discs! The clouds had parted, the sky was blue all day as sunbeams shone upon us and a chorus of perfect, angelic voices sang, Alleluia, reshaping my entire being into a Smile. A smile brought on, not by common niceties, but by happiness. Sometimes I wish my mood, my sense of euphoria, wasn’t directly proportional to what I perceive as being ideal weather. But I do embrace the dark moods of winter, and when the lightness and warmth of summer returns, I appreciate it that much more. 

So hear ye, those in harsher climates: it’s coming soon. The higher levels of energy, longer stretches of sunlight, blue skies, loquacious birds and wildlife… they’re right around the corner. I saw branches of plants budding like crazy. I touched beloved dandelions. Sure, we’ll have another cold spell or two, but today’s preview wanted me to tell you that it’s gonna be as awesome as it ever was. I just came down from the rooftop. Bright stars surrounded the half moon, and retrieving the laundry didn’t require gloves. The best part… my clothes smell like the beautiful, awakening Outdoors. 

Persian Middle Name

Persian Middle Name

All night, you were in a slow string of dreams. 

Still shots from various places and times,

Tagged with names of people I did not yet know,

People I’d be destined to meet.  

All kinds of settings I fail to recall, yet some of which I’d seen before: 

Familiarities from the depths of the

Labyrinths of already-seen dreams.

A nearly forgotten dream of

A walk through a comfortable town,

Its residential hills

Gently rolling up and down

Favored with that preferred lighting

That graces and flatters the sides of buildings

Right around dusk.

A walk in the weather that’s most desired,

Leading to the café where,

In last night’s string of visions, we met again. 

Some black and white photos,

So classic and old

That told me of the future.  

The last I recall

Your face:  not shown

Your back:  towards the camera, a line straight up

Sitting with one other person

In a meditative pose. 

Faces unseen and

Places from recurring dreams

Delicately mixed. 

As this flower of life

Continuously unfolds,

So there you were

Amidst my familiarity

In places you don’t yet know,

Futures my inner eye

Playfully, dreamily showed.

Vague, unseen faces yet to be experienced

In a forthcoming worldly path

Through a world so             classic             and          old.