Heaven and hell

On the overnight, 14+ hour bus ride from Mumbai to Goa, I asked myself why I'm taking this time to see another part of India.  It's not that I don't absolutely adore this hunk of a nation. It's just the crappy feeling I sometimes get about being a tourist on "holiday".  What's the purpose of it, really?  I end up feeling like a jackass, walking around some strange town, occasionally taking photos in the attempt to capture a snippet of a moment I perceive to be beautiful.  I'm not contributing much to these strange places, maybe some good energy through smiles and light conversation, and dollars besides.  On the flip side, I've selfishly realized the benefits that I reap as my heart gently leaps through the mazes of waves from darkness to light.  Here in India and a few other places I've been through, travelling becomes a twisted game of 'heaven and hell'.  


Hell is the hour it takes to get out of the hot, grimy, loud, thick city of Mumbai by bus.  Stagnant air meeting my face at the window that longs for the breeze brought only by greater speed. Heaven is the infinite number of amazing scenes that pass through that window: colorful markets, holiday lights, interesting buildings, traffic jams, goats, cows, families in poverty living on sidewalks among vendors and dirty happy children.  


Hell is trying to stay light and fun with the travel partner I don't really know, the travel partner who didn't seem to be as easy as I think I am... while walking on eggshells around her mood swings.  Heaven is when she gives thanks to me for being a great companion, when I see her smile with childlike wonder at animals and all things cute (fondly reminding me of a dear girlfriend), when I know she's well-fed and content, and she ends up emerging a strong, fun, wise, helpful, delightful travel buddy! 


Hell is trying to sleep during the overnight bus ride, full of potholes and hairpin turns, not able to stretch my long-ass legs, and wondering why the passengers had to shut all the windows, enclosing us in this grimy interior.  Oh, I never felt so filthy.  Heaven is the midnight pit-stops for toilets, chai, and a strrrrrrreeeeeeetchhhhh.  Heaven is waking up to see the lush, palm tree hills of Incredible India covered in layers of fog as the sun lazily emerges from behind low lying clouds.  


Hell is wandering around, bags in tow, in search of a suitable hotel.  Heaven is when we always seem to find a larger than expected room with a clean bathroom at a reasonable price.  There's nothing even remotely hellish about the food here.  Even unsure of what we order, every meal seems like the best EVER.  Here, the food, sweets, and chai are heavenly.  


Hell is where my mind goes when children follow me down the street, begging for food or money.  Heaven is in the smiles that come from those kids after simply taking their photo or slicing up a guava to share with them.  


Hell is feeling like a tourist.  Heaven?  Being invited into the home of a couple, around my parents age, for a special Diwali dinner.  Their two daughters are settled in the States, they were especially delighted to have us, and the food and stories were outstanding.  Life is a blessing, the beginning of heaven.  


Hell is a twisted, dark, imagined place that lies in pockets within the perception of my privileged, fortunate mind.  I don't think I've ever experienced hell.  Even the bout of traveler's diarrhea, which left me feeling as though I'd been hit by a truck, feverish, nauseated, and ready to die... was rapidly alleviated by neighbors and the ever-surprising travel buddy. This wandering that seems so silly at times will eventually lead me home, which still remains to be that undetermined physical location... where my heart is, where my sea-bag is.  

on Statistics

This year, World Aids Day was December 1, 2009.  According to the World Health Organization, 33 million people are infected with HIV.  With the success of some prevention programs, new HIV infections have been reduced by 17% over the past 8 years.

Statistics tend to be thought provoking.  According to www.worldometers.info :  

This year, there were twice as many bicycles produced than cars.

There are over a billion undernourished people in the world right now.

There are more than 340,000 obese people in the world right now.

There are over a billion people with no access to safe drinking water. 

Over 15,000 people died of hunger today.

World statistics surprise.  Facts are gross and haunting.  They're just numbers until you get out there with open eyes and hearts.  A dear friend of mine is working as a Peace Corps volunteer in Cambodia.  He's written about and shared with me stories of the darkness that  the people he lives with have seen in the recent decades.  War.  Poverty.  Murder.  Disease.  Children are sold into brothels so as to support other members of the families.   

The atrocities in which people live go on and on and on.  We know this.  Mentioning them is not to depress.  It's to remind us to be mindful... mindful of the many conveniences.  We are the 'haves'.  This, too, we know.  Back to my present life's moment.  

Woke around 7:30 to begin my morning with a walk up the nearby 'baby' mountain (or, ginourmous hill, if you will) Sarabong.  The air here is almost as lovely as Monterey's, but not quite as perfect.  Gorgeous views of the city and sea.  Descended the hill on the far side, which is a switchback walkway laid with reddish octagonal bricks, lined with trees and large, tropical flowers.  I only saw three other people, yet on a clear day I would have likely seen no less than a dozen.  Continued on to explore the next hill, which seemed almost as steep, perhaps not as high.  I'd never been up this one before. The path down its far side was even steeper.  At the path's early descent the view of the sea was so amazing, I had to pause.  It's the thing, it's the outside that can simultaneously take me away and bring me back.  The wonder of that nature, seeing the sea's horizon in the distance, with no land in sight.  Heavy, grey, distant clouds lowering to a hazy whitish line over the deep, far, blue-grey ocean.  Ships here and there, and the water hitting the black rocks of the coast.   Continuing on, the path leveled out and branched out through an area wooded with pines.  Trees and fallen leaves, being wet, appeared even more vibrant.  After about 15 minutes down, I emerged to a road near a parking lot behind a huge, blue-metal-roofed building.  No idea where I was, but the direction back was obvious, so I followed the roads around 'til I reached a recognized, main road.  


This is my life here, I can take this walk any morning, and I'm grateful.  Living in a gorgeous location, doing easy, enjoyable work.  No wants, no complaints.  Decent, likable, friendly, great company.  No car needed.  Just feet, a bike, and convenient, cheap public transportation.  


The heavy clouds constantly change the sky, the sun occasionally peeks out.  One of those days that welcomes the dark, moving cover.  It's the dark, moving cover that can keep me mindful of the darkness.  The darkness that looms in the lives of so many individuals, families, communities, and nations throughout the world.  We can't save the world, but in the midst of our comfortable lives, we can remember it's there.  And when we stop to wonder what we can do to lend a hand, to help... we must know that it starts from within, with the realization that we are one.  We are all the same.  As we go, may we continue on in life with the intentions... to think good thoughts, speak good words, and do good things.  


... and appreciate the many facets of 'beauty'...